EQUALIZER: THE ORIGIN
Producer: I want to make a movie, I got the money. Let’s make a big action
flick.
Director: You mean like Armageddon, Matrix…something like that. Maybe I can
do it.
Producer: No No, I ain’t got that much money. I was thinking more like
Rambo, Van Damme style one-man action.
Director: Right, I’ve got plenty of inspiration for something like that.
Producer: Right, so when do we start shooting?
Director: Well, I’ve to write a script first.
Producer: Why don’t you make one up as we go along. I want this movie to
release this year.
Director: Right then, if you don’t care about the script, why should I? Who
do you want in the movie, Arnold
Producer: Nah… old guys. Let’s try someone different. Maybe that guy who was
running on top of the train in Unstoppable. He had a very serious look about
him.
Director: Denzel…right, he’s a serious
guy. Usually asks for a script before he accepts an offer, he’s quite old
school. But I’ll give him a call.
Director (on the phone): Denzel, what you up to?
Denzel: Nothing much, cooling my heels. You got something for me?
Director: Yeah, got a producer who liked the way you ran on the train. Wants
to make a movie with you.
Denzel: Yeah yeah, I get that a lot. So what’s my role?
Director: You’ll know when I know. But there’s going to be a lot of
shooting. And you better practice your Jujitsu and serious looks and scowl. We’ll
need that a lot. And, we start shooting next week. Movie’s got to be ready
before December.
Denzel: What’s the hurry? No one’s going anywhere.
Director: I don’t know too. Maybe the producer guy’s got a feeling that the
world’s coming to an end in 2014. Anyways, he’s got the money and that’s what
matters.
Denzel: Okay, if you say so. But don’t make me look like an idiot!
Director: Oh Denzzz…. Would I do that to you!!!
Cut to scene: After the movie is completed!
Denzel: Damn it dude, you did exactly what I told you not to. There, I’m
looking like an idiot. I don’t even know who I am. Where did I get those skills
from. I know everything about how the bad guy killed his parents and stuff, and
I don’t know where the f*** I come from. What the hell man?
Director: Hey Denzz…It isn’t as bad as you think it is. About your role and
your past. Look, I swear, I would have told you if I had the slightest clue
about it. Why would I lie to you about it?
Producer: mmmm…. Director, maybe you could have amped the action up a bit,
is our guy killing enough bad guys? There could be more bodies lying around. I’ve
still got some cash left.
Director: Well, if you got the bodies we could use them… what do you say
Denzz, shoot one more scene. Maybe that’ll fix the film well.
Denzel: Man…you’re the director, whatever you say. But I got just one more
day to give to this b***s*** freakshow, just one day.
Director: One day..hmm..gonna be tough. But, I know exactly what to do. You
walk into a room and walk out…and lots of bodies are lying all over the place.
How does that sound?
Denzel: Sounds like the end of my career!
Producer: Well, your end or not, it’s the end of my cash. Get the goddamn
movie ino theaters. Its gonna be great!
Cut to scene: After release
Audience: What the f***?
